Mercury retrograde survival guide

This is not a drill. We repeat, this is not a drill.

That’s right, stargazers. Mercury retrograde is upon us.

For those unversed in the celestial arts, Mercury retrograde occurs when the first rock from the sun appears to move backward in the night sky. This planetary phenomenon occurs three to four times a year and is believed to bring all sorts of chaotic energy to relationships, travel plans, and, yes, even the veterinary workplace.

Here are the Mercury retrograde dates for 2023:

  • December 28, 2022, to January 18, 2023.
  • April 21 to May 14.
  • August 23 to September 14.
  • December 13 to January 1, 2024.

How to prepare for Mercury retrograde

As a vet tech, you might notice that important emails mysteriously go missing during Mercury retrograde. Your workplace bestie may start to get on your nerves. Ordinarily cuddly pups might inexplicably transform into bitey little hellraisers.

Essentially, it might feel like the universe is conspiring against you. That’s because it is.

But don’t start screaming into your pillow just yet. We know vet techs have enough on their plates without dealing with Mercury’s drama too, so we’ve put together some tips to help you get through the cosmic event unscathed.

1. Be prepared for the ultimate betrayal

Mercury retrograde step 1

Mercury retrograde can upset the emotional equilibrium of all living creatures, including your furry patients.

There’s a good chance that your favorite patient - you know, the one you take selfies with and spoil endlessly with special treats and belly rubs - starts to show affection for another vet tech.

It might feel like the ultimate betrayal, but try not to take it personally. Be the bigger vet tech. A break might just be what you need to work on yourself. Besides, you can always get the relationship back on track once the retrograde passes.

2. Embrace celestial self-care

Mercury retrograde step 2

A bit of celestial self-care can is key to keeping your sanity during Mercury’s retrograde. A well-stocked stash of treats can help you, your colleagues, and your patients navigate the cosmic antics.

Throw in a little deep breathing and some slow stretching and you’ll be well on your way to finding peace within the chaos.

3. Ignore messages from your ex (client)

Mercury retrograde step 3

Emotional baggage from the past is brought into present focus during retrogrades.

Old clients that you had to fire for overstepping the boundaries of your practice might come out of the woodwork, asking for a second chance. They’ll claim to have changed, grown up. They'll say they’re older, wiser; a better version of the client they used to be.

Mercury’s flirtatious energy might tempt you to rekindle the relationship, but hold your ground. There’s a reason they’re an ex-client, after all.

4. Double down on communication

Mercury retrograde step 4

Mercury, named after the Roman deity who served as a messenger to the gods, governs all forms of communication. So, don’t be surprised when communication starts to break down during retrograde.

Be extra articulate when expressing your thoughts. Learn how to pronounce those words you’ve seen written down but never heard out loud (sangfroid might be a fitting place to start?).

When all else fails, look to ezyVet’s amethyst-infused, retrograde-proof communication tools to counteract the astrological interference.

5. Blame Mercury for just about everything

Mercury retrograde step 5

When nothing seems to be going your way, just remember one thing: It’s not you, it’s Mercury.

Accidentally knock over a stack of charts? Mercury’s fault. Forget to fasten the cage door? Must be Mercury. Put the dog’s blood sample in the break room fridge? You guessed it - Mercury retrograde strikes again!


Mercury retrograde is a time of challenges, chaotic energy, and difficult decisions - you know, all the things that vet techs deal with on a daily basis. Armed with the tips above, you’ll be well equipped to survive whatever cosmic curveballs the universe throws your way.

Happy thriving!